As I mentioned in my previous blog post, The Revelation, my life has had its fair share of hard times. Those challenges and struggles led me to believe that I had unchanging, unwavering, cursed-by-a-vengeful-witch bad luck.
I believed this thought so deeply that it became a part of my identity.
I was constantly reciting Murphy’s Law of whatever can go wrong will, and found the bad in every situation. I spent countless hours of my life obsessing over the challenges of my past, stewing in my current predicaments, and planning out all the struggles that I could possibly face in the future.
I basically ate, slept, and breathed in negative energy all day long.
People would tell me to try and be positive, offer different perspectives, and other attempts to try and ease my perpetual pessimism, but it was to no avail. I could spin any and every situation into a negative, or come up with an excuse for why good things wouldn’t and couldn’t happen to me.
Recently, I was driving home after work, and for the first time in my life I hit a deer. My first thoughts were, “of course this would happen to me,” and “this is just my luck”.
As I worked with insurance agents and car dealerships, I found roadblock after roadblock.
My car was totaled, and insurance would only cover a rental for a few days, so in order to get to work I would need to start paying out of pocket. The car market in my area was in a terrible place, with everything featuring high miles and high prices. My bank was taking forever to process my insurance check to pay off my loan so that I could get a new car.
I was spending hours a day looking for new cars and stressing over everything that could go wrong.
What if I get a diesel that’s great on gas, but then the engine breaks down and will be an even more expensive fix?
What if I get a car that would cost me too much in gas and insurance payments?
I felt paralyzed by everything that could go wrong and how this was the absolute worst time that this could have happened.
After making only $12 during a shift at my serving job, I was even more stressed about my financial situation and how this car situation might turn out.
I decided to take a bubble bath, turn on some zen music, and read a book to distract myself.
I picked up You Are A Badass At Making Money by Jen Sincero, and it was probably the best decision I have made in awhile. (Seriously, read this book if you need a financial reset.)
I just so happened to be at the chapter talking about Universal Intelligence. The concept of Universal Intelligence is basically that everything in the universe has energy, intention, and actually wants to help you live your best life.
The idea is to trust that the universe has your back, and if you approach it with an open mind, positive attitude, and a grateful and receptive energy, that it will take care of all of the hard stuff for you. (I know this sounds a little out there, but stick with me.)
What I didn’t realize before reading about Universal Intelligence, was that I had only been open to giving and receiving negativity and problems. I completely shut down any opportunity for positive thoughts, changes, and opportunities, stuck in the world of “I can’t” or “good things just don’t happen for me”.
Right after reading this perfectly timed chapter (I see you, Universe), I decided that I was finally going to stop stressing about what car to buy from what dealership and how I was going to afford a high monthly payment.
I decided to buy the least expensive option I had looked at, so that I could lower my monthly payment as well as insurance payment and gas costs. This would be a combined savings of about $150 every month.
I solidified that choice in my head as I told my friends and boyfriend of my plan. I didn’t say, “I’m going to try” or “I want to”. I said, “I’m going to do this, and it will benefit me in all of these ways”.
I pictured the universe setting this whole situation up for the sole purpose of making my life better in the long run.
I woke up the next morning with a call from my bank telling me that they received the insurance check and could move forward with a new loan, and a message from my car salesman telling me he thought it would be a good idea to go with the car I had already mentally locked down.
This was the first moment that I truly believed in Universal Intelligence.
I thought to myself about how the Universe truly is looking out for me, and is so totally ready to hand me everything I want on a silver platter.
That thought felt like the first day of a new life.
Has there ever been a moment for you that stood out as the Universe sending you a direct signal?
Let me know in the comments!